It’s been an interesting couple of weeks in the world. And of course, our leader, the Great and Powerful Obama has been right there, in the thick of things, saving the world. Let’s have a look around and see what’s been done.
First of all Pres. Obama has continued to strengthen ties with our key allies. His press spokesman spoke movingly of the integrity of the British press, and in return they lauded praise upon him. After all, we all have been told over and over that “The Europeans Love Obama” and that will make it so much easier for him to solve the problems of the world. Here’s how Mr. Gibbs discussed the British Press:
I want to speak generally about some reports I’ve witnessed over the past few years in the British media. And in some ways, I’m surprised it filtered down,” Gibbs began. “Let’s just say if I wanted to look up — if I wanted to read a writeup today of how Manchester United fared last night in the Champion’s League cup, I might open up a British newspaper. If I was looking for something that bordered on truthful news, I’m not entirely sure it’d be in the first pack of clips I’d pick up.”
“You’re not going to find very many of these newspapers and truth within 25 words of each other,” Gibbs continued.
Of course, this was all just taken in jest, as The Great and Powerful Obama is adored all over the globe. Here is an example of the adulatory response generated by his hilarious spokesman’s comments:
For all its talk of “raising America’s standing” in the world after the Bush years, the Obama administration is doing a spectacularly bad job of reaching out to its allies. Unfortunately this is the new face of America’s public diplomacy, which will only serve to alienate public opinion across the Atlantic. Congratulations Gibbs – you’ve just made an enemy out of the entire British media, quite an achievement for the man in charge of selling the President’s message.
Yes, he’s building great relationships, and making great decisions all the time. And he’s SOO on top of everything too. We know, for example that he is brilliant. After all, he taught ‘Con law’ and was graduated from Harvard right? His brilliant brain holds so much information. Recall that he has promised to review the federal budget “line by line’ and eliminate any and all wasteful spending. He must know everything there is to know about the government and administration of the United States. But, then what about all those pesky intelligence and information divisions? How’s THIS for brilliance? While once more taking the ever vigilant press corps out to lunch at yet another swanky burger joint, our Commander in Chief met someone who works for the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency. He apparently had absolutely no idea what it is, or that it’s part of the Defense Department charged with developing and interpreting vital satellite imagery for the military and intelligence communities.
Obama: So explain to me exactly what this National Geospatial…uh…
Walter: Uh, we work with, uh, satellite imagery..
Walter: [unintelligible] …support systems, so…
Obama: Sounds like good work.
Walter: Enjoy the weekend.
Obama: Appreciate it.
Ok, so we see how totally brilliant and on top of things our president is regarding the internal workings of the government he says he will run with total control and dedication. How about international affairs with other than Europeans who adore and worship him. ( We see the great affection he’s generated in Britain) How about our critical ally in the Middle East. The Great and Powerful Obama had a meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Mr. Netanyahu has been there, done that. He organized a commando squad that fought for the survival of their nation while our President Organized communities. They had their private meeting where it was anticipated the Great Obama would use his charm to persuade Mr. Netanyahu to go along with plans to meet and talk nice with the various Palestinian and Arab groups which seek to exterminate Bibi’s nation and people. Apparently things did not go the way Obie planned. The traditional post meeting press conference was a gold mine for students of body language. The leader of the Free World sat stiffly, never glancing at his guest once during the questioning and recounting of their ‘frank discussion’. He stammered and dodged any questions of substance. Meanwhile, Israel’s leader sat stoically, staring directly at his chastened counterpart. His body language was more like that of a boxer during a pre-fight press conference looking at the latest tomato can put in front of him before he can fight for the title. Clearly, he knew he had to put this man in his place. At this point the policy of the United States in the Levant is reduced to something akin to begging that if they decide to go to war against Iran, would they please at least think of calling and telling us before they win so we can claim some credit.
The campaign is long over, yet Obama continues to pepper his policy speeches with finger pointing and blame fixing. ” We didn’t mess this up, the guy before us did it!’ ” We inherited a mess, and we’re not sure what to do yet”. As he is confronted with the reality of events in his role as President of The United States Mr. Obama has begun to shrink and step away from any engagement. Nations and world leaders are not the same thing as small community groups pleading for someone to help them out. He simply cannot vote ‘present’ when a true crisis emerges.
Look to the latest fire burning on the world stage in Asia. The ever agreeable Comrade Kim decided that talks with the ‘multilateral group’ were not progressing as fast as he wished. So, to increase the spirit of community he set off a nuke and began firing missiles in all directions. He warned the US and South Korea not to ‘provoke him’. Of course this brought swift and decisive action. The Secretary of State of the United States thundered with anger that such actions would surely bring about some serious consequences. Not to be outdone, the UN, that wellspring of decisive action offered to print a statement that would say stern words to the Norks, and might even consider discussing the possibility of potentially increasing sanctions on the already crushingly impoverished nation.
In response to all these terrifying threats Crazy Kim Jong Il puts on a new pair of designer shades and shouts something that translates roughly as : ” Booga Booga BOOGA” and everyone in the world backs up a couple of steps because he’s so scary. Except of course the incredibly calm and reasonable Achmedinajad in Iraq, who inches closer and says, ” Please, please can I have some too!” Kim is not merely making threats, he’s poking a stick in the eyes of the ‘multilateral nations’ and seeing if they will take it away from him or let him sharpen it and try again. The thing to remember is that in Iran they are watching to see what happens. If Kim and his sunglasses are allowed to bask in the nuclear glow with no restrictions, then Achmedinijad will put on a brand new ‘Members Only’ jacket and set off his own fire crackers knowing that no one has the stones to do anything about it. Once he opens the throttle it will signal the beginning of a mad race throughout all the other regimes in the area. The various Arab chieftains would all want their own personal glow in the dark kits to balance out the ‘Twelvers’ in Tehran. Mahmoud the Mad in sole possession of nukes in the Middle East is as much a nightmare for the Syrians and Saudis as it would be for the US. he might just decide it’s time to shake things up for real so his favorite hidden teen age Imam can emerge from some well hidden in the badlands of Iraq and restore the ‘peaceful and beautiful’ rule of his particular flavor of Shiite Islam upon the burning embers of the post nuke dust that remains.
Boy, I sure am glad that we have such an engaged and powerful leader in the White house right now. He’s done so much to calm things. Maybe next week he can take the North Koreans out for burgers, maybe that will fix things. After all, why can’t we all just get along?
Keep the Faith!